Words To Live By.

Meaningful reward requires meaningful risk.

Re-routing My Life

I didn't make it through to the oral interview round of the FSOT. The final round before the background check. Damn.


I was upset. I'm still upset. But I literally do not have any other option than to wait until early 2012 to reapply.


So until then, Spain and Korea? I'm going to stop wasting time.

Thought of the Day

What am I running away from?

4/4 To-Do List

Less than five things to really do today, and I couldn't even do the most important one. Hah.

"I can do this" is going through my head on repeat. The kind of message that, said enough times, actually comes true. Right? Right.

Ch-Ch-Changes

"Always do what you are afraid to do." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Not an April Fool's joke. If I don't do this in the next week, anyone has permission to slap me.

LONDON

I finished the PNQs on March 22nd and jetted off to London for a week that very night. Now to wait 6-8 weeks to see if they still approve of me... I also applied to be an English Language Assistant in Spain. I'm hoping that I know when the oral test is before I leave the country.

London was almost perfect. I thought that I wouldn't care for it at first. I like having friends surround me, and I believed that the fast-paced, don't-give-a-shit-ism that London represents itself as was not going to be my cup of tea. But the history... okay, fine, and the Harry Potter sites. It's such a different vibe to know that these monuments have been around for centuries, whereas if something is 100 years old in the states, it's impressive.

 Not only did I get to travel with my parents for a week, but I also met up with a friend quite a few times. He definitely personalized the trip with non-tourist things, which made my days much better. I'm really grateful for that, and that he's hilarious.

London. Dover. Windsor. Bath. Lacock.
Westminster Abbey. Stonehenge. Ronnie Scott's. PUBS.

You know what's an interesting word? Idiosyncrasies.

FSOT

Congratulations! The scores you achieved on your Foreign Service Officer Test (FSOT) qualify you for the next step of the Foreign Service Officer selection process...

I passed :)

Six essays by March 22? BRING IT.

Edit

I deleted my last post. I think you'll agree with me when I say that it may have been a bit harsh. Then again, Americans are always too tough with themselves. Makes me want to move to Europe and have siestas.

I've decided to post my 2011 Goals, against my usual objections. So now I have a list to check off, one by one. Not just the normal "Be a good person. Lose weight." boring New Year Resolutions, because resolutions never work. Real talk.

1. Follow My Dream. I want to travel and somehow incorporate work into that. But mostly travel. Merging that, foreign languages/places/cultures, exploration, international relations and 'finding myself' is a daunting task. And I'm going to try.  I suppose that this one goal is merging a bunch of smaller ones that actually mean that I want to love life. But I'm not changing the title. It's my list.
   
2. Live Loudly. Kind of reminds me of the "Live Out Loud" campaign (although I don't know what that campaign is about). Anyway. I need to speak my mind more. It's something that I've always needed to do, even though it's such a simple thing to tell people your own opinions. I've actually never realized how fine a line it is to say what you want to say versus hurting someone's feelings. I've always just tried to avoid the latter. Except with close friends. I know that they can handle my sarcasm.
3. Live Healthier. I haven't actually decided what this means yet. Not definitively. I want it to include eating better, exercising more [efficiently?] and leading a less stressful life. Or maybe just being a better person overall. All of these require me to change my current mindset, which leads me to #4 (see how well I did that)...
4. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Oh I know this is a book and some kind of quote from someone important, but it speaks to me.  Everyone has their own healthy way of dealing with people and situations and emergencies, but I haven't found mine. I'm not saying that I blow up in front of people, but I internalize problems when things don't go just the way that I want them to. So here's to closing my eyes, taking deep breaths and counting to X.

FSOT: February 11th.